Why & How I Moved to South Korea - Fashion Schlub (2024)

Why & How I Moved to South Korea - Fashion Schlub (1)

I know to long-time readers that this will be redundant. But recently I’ve had people on social media ask me why and how I came to be living in South Korea…and rather than saying “read all my blog posts from April 2020 to August 2023,” I thought I would just consolidate the stories into one post.

When people ask me why I moved here, my stock answer is that it would take a 17-slide PowerPoint presentation to explain it fully. Because really it was a confluence of events, a lining up of the planets…A Perfect Three-Year Storm that brought me here.

Let’s begin at the beginning.

It was April 2020, the height of Covid-19 in New York, where I was living. I was working from home and not going out with friends…or anywhere, for that matter. I discovered the wonderland that is TikTok. In the beginning the thing that really appealed to me on my feed was videos of over-worked doctors, nurses, and other healthcare providers trying to relieve some of the stress and darkness of dealing with all the sickness and death at that time. It was Really Bad in NY. These hard-working people were sharing TikTok dances to bring a little light into their lives and the lives of others. I liked them. I mean, technically, I “clicked the like” button on them. The TikTok algorithm went, “oh, she likes dancing videos,” and fed me more types of dancing videos. And since it was an Asian-created app, I saw more Asians dancing than any other ethnicity. And who (to my eye) were the best dancers??

The Koreans. There was just something…better about their dancing. Now I understand that a lot of that may have to do with the fact that many Koreans start at kpop dance studios and gymnastic schools from a very early age, in hopes of breaking into the lucrative world of kpop. At the time I was just like “wow, they’re really talented.”

And since now I was “liking” Korean dancers, TikTik started feeding me more Koreans overall. Singers, actors, models, street style creators, etc. And I liked them all.

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And then I noticed one group of young men that I started seeing a LOT. Seven young men to be exact. I learned they were a kpop group called BTS, which I’d heard of somewhere on the outer edges of my existaence, and I’d heard the song Dynamite somewhere, and I think even Idol, but I don’t know where. The clips of BTS being shared were very engaging and charming. Now I know they were clips from shows like Run BTS and Bon Voyage, award shows, concerts, etc. They were fun to watch. So I “liked” those posts.

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And one day I thought, okay, let me see what these guys are really about…and I searched for BTS on YouTube and landed on the music video for the song Blood Sweat & Tears. It was very creative and theatrical. I’d never seen a performance like that. The guys were adorable. I thought, “eh, this music isn’t really for me, but…(wait for it…)I Wonder What Their Names Are.”Those magic words that have sent millions down the rabbit hole that is BTS.

At the start of your “BTS Time,” it is practically impossible to learn their names…because having been together already for so long, and every comeback has them appearing with new hair colors, and they’ve grown from teenagers to young men, to men now in the military…when you search “BTS” on the internet, every picture looks different! But you’re determined to learn their names, so you start researching them in earnest…what are their other songs, what concert tours have they done, what shows have they appeared on, etc…and on the path of learning about them…you come to love them. And you’re IN. You try to fight it, “oh, I’m not ARMY. I’m a GROWN UP.” But yeah…you’re Army. And you even purchase an Army membership Just In Case covid ever allows them to tour again, cuz maybeyou’ll go to a concert.

And now you’re 60 years old and a fan of a Korean boy band 40 years your junior.

Sigh.

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At the same time, TikTok starts feeding you clips from something called k-dramas…that you’ve heard of but thought they were like those cheezy, overly-dramatic novellas. But one day in September 2020 when you have a free afternoon you decide to watch one of them there K Dramas. You go to Netflix and search “korean dramas,” and select “Chocolate,” thinking maybe it’s a remake of the movie with Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche.

But it’s not. It’s exactly onebilliontrilliongazillion times better than that…and ANYTHING you’ve ever seen before. You watch it for ten hours straight that first day…go to sleep around 3am, wake up three hours later and are back in front of the tv at 6am Because You Just Cannot Stay Away. You send messages to people saying “I’m Watching a Show That is Going to Change My Life,” and they’re like, uhm, okay.

Little did they know. Little did *I* know!

You renounce all western programming and for the next four years watch ONLY Asian shows and movies. Korean, Japanese, Thai, Taiwanese, etc. You see parts of the country, you start seeing some of the customs. You fall in love with the OSTs (Original Sound Track), and now your Spotify is filled with not just BTS and kpop, but Korean ballads and indie artists. And you’re loving it.

The first time I heard a song called Happiness by Ovan…again, my life was changed. I know it sounds dramatic to say things are life-changing…but these things really were. I had no idea what the singer was saying, but I loved thesound of it. I had already experienced this on kdramas, listening to spoken Korean was just a delight. There’s a certain poutiness to some words…a charming intonation…and some word pronunciations that just…grabbed me. And I knew I wanted to a) understand the language, and b) be able tospeak the language.

And so in May 2021 I signed up for an online Korean class. And then another. And then I got a tutor. It was hard, I have become a slow learner in my old(er) age, but I was determined.

Pause. At the same time all this was happening, and at this point it’s been a little over a year since I was first introduced to South Korea (and literally, embarrasingly, I knew NOTHING about the country before all this. I literally did not realize that North and South Korea were two different countries. I thought they were like the US…and there was the south and there was the north. I had a lot to learn, to say the least!), what was going on in other “non-Korean” parts of my life, is that I had slowly, over the course of about 15 years, gotten myself out of a giant hole of debt…and realized that maybe I was NOT going to be carried out of my (then) current job in a body bag…that maybe I COULD actually retire before I died…and I started thinking about retirement. When could I, how could I, etc. I was tired of my time belonging to someone else. *I* wanted to be the master of my time domain!

Andthen I heard about how in South Korea there is such a high demand for native English speaking teachers…that all you need is a Bachelor’s degree, it doesn’t have to be in teaching, or even English…and that if you get one of those jobs they’ll help you with all the red tape, pay your airfare to get there, and even set you up with and pay for an apartment.

My brain hamsters started running on their little wheels…and slowly slowly I got it in my head that I could “retire” at 62, and go to teach English in South Korea. That stone unalived two birds: 1) it would allow me to retire as early as possible, and 2) it would get me to South Korea without the burden of paying for a trip.

I was very excited.

A young woman in my online class had a friend who’d done exactly that, so I asked for the name of the agency she used…I reached out to them…and got my dream squashed.

I Was Too Old. WAY too old. They want young young, energetic people fresh out of school. They’d never heard of anyone over the age of 35 being placed in one of those positions. I was just a tad over 35, at the age of 61.

My heart was broken. And from my extreme disappointment, I knew just how badly I really wanted to go to Korea. So I sulked a bit…and after about a month had come up with a new plan.

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I had really fallen in love with this little country. It’s like The Little Engine That Could of countries…from being colonized by the Japanese through the first half of the 1900s…to the Korean War decimating an already weakened country and continuing to tear its people apart…to just a decade later being considered a major world power, and continuing to grow ever since – they truly went from famine to feast in averyshort time, which is testament to the tenacity of the Korean people.

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I was fascinated by the history, in love with the language and culture, and having grown up with a mother who, after living in Japan in the 50s, brought back half of the country’s home furnishings, decorative accessories, kitchenware, etc., I felt very sympatico with the aesthetics of Korea, being similar in many ways to those of Japan.

I Just Wanted to Be There. I couldn’t give up.

After researching cost of living in South Korea, rent, etc., I realized I could still retire at 62, and live in SK for a year just off my social security. Which wasn’t going to be a lot with retiring so early, but I could do it if I wasn’t trying to live in the United States. I was happy again.

Until I realized that, duh, you can’t just move to the foreign country of your choice. I’ve barely traveled outside the US in my lifetime and have watched way too much House Hunters: International, with people just up and moving abroad. I didn’t realize there were obstacles. There were VISAs. And South Korea didn’t have any for old retired Americans who don’t want to work, aren’t going to invest $500,000 in a home or business, andcertainly aren’t going to have a child there.

So I had another depressed month. Someone on a Facebook group mentioned student visas, but I was like, I still have a ton of my debt from my last student loan, and bad credit. No one’s going to give meanother student loan…and I’d have no way to pay it back if they did. Student Visa was out.

UNLESS.

Unless I could save up the money for tuition and living expenses by myself. That was a lofty thought for someone who’d been in big debt for many years and had never saved more than several thousand dollars in her entire life.

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So by November 2021 I decided. I decided that if, in 2 years time (by the time I turned 62 and could retire) I could raise the necessary money (I calculated $25,000 as the necessary money to pay tuition, apartment deposit, and still have a little cushion of money while I was so far from home and who knows what might happen), I Would Go To South Korea on a D4 Student Visa.

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As chance would have it…November 2021 was also the same month that BTS performed their first concert since Covid…and guess who went to the Los Angeles show?? THIS GIRL. That trip was my last big splurge before I started my 2-year Making & Saving Money plan.

While I was in CA for the concert I stayed with family out there and shared with them my (ridiculous) plan. It was met with mixed reactions. 1) OH MY GOD THAT’S AMAZING YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE THE BEST TIME I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU; 2) How can you afford to stop working and move to South Korea when you’re still paying off your student loan? and 3) What if you die there? How will God find you?

I took #1 and ran with it. Had a great time at the concert, and returned home to NY with The Big Plan underway.

I spent the next two years not doing much of anything fun, selling off everything I own, and putting as much as possible into my Korea Savings Fund. I researched schools, apartments, how to apply for a D4 visa, airfares, how to retire abroad, IRAs, taxes…I kept studying Korean. I kept listening to Korean music and watching kdramas…and just…Saw it Happening.

I’m not a “put it out into the universe and watch it happen” kind of person. But I was determined that if Ididn’t get there, it was not going to be through any fault of my own. I was doing everything in my power to get all my 오리 (“oh-dee” – Korean for ducks) in a row.

A year out, on paper, it looked like I was going to make it…so I started Really Planning. Six months out I started the stressful process of applying to the school I’d decided on, and then the visa application process. There were So Many Steps! Because of the timing of the visa, I actually had to give notice at my job (of 17 years) and to my landlord that I would be leaving the country in July 2023, even before I’d gotten the visa approved! The last few months were a mad dash of selling off the last of my belongings, including my car (that was the very last thing), getting all the required documents submitted correctly, saying goodbye to friends and co-workers…and then finally, July 23, 2023 was my final day at work. I spent the next week clearing out EVERYTHING from my apartment, cancelling things like cable, insurance, etc.

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My daughter drove flew up from Florida and I rented a small SUV to pack up my few belongings I was bringing with me to SK or she was holding onto for me while I was away. I’d aimed for leaving her with two big plastic tubs of stuff, but I ran out of time at the very end, so there’s still stuff at her house for me to sell, develop, send to other people. But not much.

If you know me for long or in real life, you know I had a LOT of stuff. Stuff I inherited from my mother when we sold her house, stuff that was my father’s, things I’d held onto since my ebay selling days, TONS of vintage clothing that I’d always wanted to use for photo shoots before selling…books, books, and more books…and just things like everybody has. To have reduced all that to two big plastic tubs, about 3 smaller plastic tubs,two boxes of undeveloped slides, and three suitcases of things I brought with me, is nothing short of a miracle.

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I stayed with my daughter in Florida for just under a month…got to visit my sister in South Carolina for a few days…and left for South Korea on August 22, 2023.

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I’ve been here just over a year on a D4 Student Visa. And it has been An Experience. I recently shared a post about my first year here, so if you’re interested in how my time here has been, you can read that here. It’s really just a bulletpoint accounting of my time here. Like this post, it’s hard to consolidate This Year into one brief essay. To really get a feel for my time here, the good, the bad, and the ugly, you’d need to read all the This Week in South Korea posts starting from last fall. I took a bit of a blogging sabbatical when I first got here, I was having a hard time just staying afloat…but I finally started sharing what it was like getting here and living here back in October 2023.

That, my friends, is the 17-slide PowerPoint presentation (minus the Powerpoint presentation) of how I came to be living in South Korea.

So, if you find yourself discovering BTS and wondering what their names are…watch your step. You could wind up leaving your country and everything you know behind, and moving halfway around the world for a crazy adventure.

Questions?

Why & How I Moved to South Korea - Fashion Schlub (2024)
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